Carlye Begnaud (Friend)
Mitch and I met in 2000, but didn’t become good friends until 2001. I can’t really say that I remember the first time we hung out, but once we started to, it became a very regular, if not daily occurrence for about 5 or 6 months. At the very least, we talked or emailed everyday. Mitch moved into a condo about 4 miles up the road from me during this time. The first day I visited him there, I discovered that my apartment keys let me into his building. From then on, I would let myself in and just knock on his door or just walk in and announce my arrival. We both wondered if we should tell someone about the security issue but never did. Mitch came over one Saturday and painted my kitchen. He took the liberty to tear down the regulated blinds that the landlord had put up because he thought they were ugly. He also painted over the thermostat in the kitchen, which to this day is light green and almost unreadable. Mitch always cared about what was going on in my life. If someone hurt me, he would always want to go beat them up. I never let him, but I’m pretty sure at one point, if I had given him the okay, he would have.
itch knew that I wanted to go back to school full time, but because of debt and living expenses, I would not be able to get by working less than full time. At one point, over the course of a couple of weeks, he and I had many a talk, even arguments, about him wanting to work two full time jobs so that he could give me money to go to school. He didn’t understand why I wouldn’t let him. Mind you, Mitch and I were just friends. I told him that I wasn’t comfortable taking such a huge gift from someone that was only a friend, simply because I would never be able to repay him. He repeatedly told me that he didn’t care, he just wanted to do it for me and I was foolish to not accept it. I must have asked him to close the case on that one because we eventually stopped discussing it, but he would remind me from time to time about the offer I’d refused.
Mitch and I used to go to the city every Saturday morning to work with the homeless ministry at New Hope Church. We would hand out clothes and food, hang out with the kids or just talk to the adults who came in. Everyone there loved Mitch. He would talk to anyone. He had this amazing way of showing interest in people that he didn’t even know and loving people that he had just met. At one point, he was nominated the bouncer for the ministry. I believe there were a few times when he actually did have to hold people back from fighting or stand in between people to ward off an argument. Even though the ride with Mitch to and from the city on those days was somewhat faster and a little scarier than it would have been if I’d gone alone, I honestly felt safer with him being there. It was nice to be able to look over my shoulder and see him and know he was looking out for me.
Easter of 2003, I received an email from one of my pastors regarding a massive Easter egg hunt that would be taking place the following day at Cabrini Green (Chicago’s toughest housing project) As I tried to think of which friends I could get to go with me, Mitch came to mind. Even though we didn’t hang out as much anymore, and probably didn’t even talk on a regular basis. I knew he would join me, even with the last minute invitation. Sure enough, I called him and he was in! He picked me up early the next morning, a Saturday, and we headed to Chicago. We spent the morning hiding colored plastic eggs that had little prizes hidden inside, as well as keeping the kids out of them until the hunt actually started. Later that morning, Mitch played basketball with the older neighborhood kids while I did crafts with some of the younger ones. I’m pretty sure the only thing he complained about that day was the heat (it was unusually warm and humid for April), but that was always something he and I disagreed on anyway. He would come over in the summer and loudly wish that it would snow, as I was enjoying the heat and the sun. I thought he was kidding at first…….
Others have mentioned how Mitch had a way of making them feel like they were the most important person in the world to him. He made me feel the same way. He listened when I’d call to tell him something; he remembered things that I didn’t even remember that I’d told him and he was genuinely concerned about things going on in my life. Mitch was the kind of friend I knew I could call at anytime, day or night and if I needed help, he’d do whatever he could to help me. Last year, Mitch was one of two important people that the Lord took out of my life and brought home to be with himself. I’ve realized that losing someone you love is really hard…wishing you had let them know how much you value them is something that might never go away. But losing someone you know loved you is possibly harder. Suddenly you feel a little lost without that person….knowing that you don’t have that ear on the other end of the phone anymore, or that shoulder to cry on or those arms to hug you when you just need a hug. Losing Mitch has really made me look at the way I treat the people God has placed in my life. Do I tell them that I love them often enough? Do they know that I find value in them and think they are special? I have been trying my best lately to let people know these things and I believe that I have Mitch to thank for that.
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